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Bridesmaids & Dress Stress
Ok, by popular demand- What to do in this unfortunate situation if your bridesmaids cannot agree on a dress.
Well if your vision is that all your girls are in the same dress and you are the one choosing the gown then that’s that. Final say goes to you and there should be no disagreement because there really is no discussion, especially if you are the one paying for the dresses. Now practically speaking, it is custom for your maids to pay for their own dress and with that in mind, many Brides like to offer them a voice in what they will be wearing. Plus they are our Tribe of nearest and dearest and we want them to look and feel good on our special day. If that is more you then there are a few approaches I would recommend to hopefully solve the dress dispute.
Maid of Honor gets to have final say. She is your second in command in this whole wedding enterprise and that grants her a position on your ‘Decision Team’. The MOH role is possibly the highest honor in the friendship world and with it comes a list of roles & responsibilities to support you through the wedding experience, one of which is stepping in to help diffuse conflict situations. Not to mention, if you have selected her as your MOH it is because you trust her so lean on her for this one – she won’t disappoint you.
This next is a bit sensitive but worth a think. Accommodate the most difficult body type – but be sure NOT to say that out loud. For instance, if you have a friend who has quite large breasts and one of the choices is something with a deep v-cut or a gown that is strapless, that will likely make for a hellish + uncomfortable day for them. In that same breath, we all have that friend who looks incredible in everything so on the dress front I may weigh their opinion a little less because they will be able to wear anything and look stunning, whereas your girl who is gifted with big curves and big booty may loathe the idea of a skin tight number.
And lastly, living in Canada I realize a vote is a democratic option to consider. Personally, my wedding party was 2x family members and 2x friends and I leaned towards pleasing The Family vs The Friends. Blood is thicker than water , as the saying goes, and Family truly is with us forever … plus there is the added bonus of deflecting the issue to not upsetting the family apple cart if you have a sister and a cousin standing for you.
Bonus Tip. When it comes time to buy gifts for your wedding party a real classy way of doing things is to ensure the cost of the gift = the cost of the bridesmaid dress. This may also help keep you in check with your expectations as the more expensive the dress options the more you need to reciprocate financially in their gift.
Bonus Bonus Tip. Jewelry is a terrific bridesmaid gift if you are wanting that symmetrical, all girls looking the same look. Plus it saves you from more disagreement when it comes time to choose accessories.
Now believe it or not, it is very unlikely that your bridesmaids will all fawn over the same gown. As women we have different preferences to style, color and make and we tend to be a lot more particular about our Look then our male counterparts. That said, have you heard the saying ‘you find out who your friends are’ because this is one of those moments. A forever friend is totally on your team and their top priority is that you and your soon to be have that perfect wedding day –they don’t give a damn about the dress and would wear a paper bag with flip flops if that is what your vision was –because they are awesome and have your best interests at heart. Recognize how lucky you are to have those kind of friends standing for you and never take them for granted. They are priceless.