We Have all Been Guilty of This at Some Point

We are engaged! It's exciting. It's fresh. It's new and we are determined to be the most radiant bride Instagram has ever seen. We start to Pinterest our ‘Look' and build a board of celebrity hair + makeup, intricate nail design and lavish couture wedding gowns and then, based on that board and those models, commit to emulate that Look on our wedding day.

The fine print to that plan that we eventually realize is that we are not those women on those perfectly filtered boards and those looks, though they are absolutely awe inspiring, may not work with who we are. Now we are frustrated, disappointed, let down ... insert your word of choice... and needless to say, that experience doesn't feel good so now the emotion sets in.

Does this ring true for anyone? I will put my hand up for sure. Now in the interest of keeping this post focused and a quick read I am only going to share my dress experience specifically, but I promise we will circle back to those other aesthetics sometime soon.

A bit about me. I am quite short with narrow shoulders and small upper build so sadly I was not gifted with height or C-cups. On top of that I am a relatively simple gal and my wardrobe reflects this - clean lines, tailored fits and very little in way of fringe, tassel or appliques because I prefer to style with beautiful jewelry & fancy shoes. Yet when I was Pinteresting I was attracted to these very elaborate, multi layered gowns and that is actually what I sought out when we went dress shopping.

Obvious issue here is that I simply don't have enough frame to canvas that much material as elegantly as the models I had pinned. Can you imagine what layers and layers of heavy fabric looks like on a petite miss .... like a cupcake devoured me whole or a little girl playing dress up in mommy's gown... lost every line and curve I do have and as my mom put it ' looked kinda frumpy'. Thanks Mom.

Dress after dress, disaster after disaster until I eventually had a little meltdown and we left the shop to self sooth with some vino and forget the whole thing. See I had become so attached and even a bit fixated on my Pinterest Board that I wasn’t open to anything else that better suited ME. I realize that sounds a bit dramatic but I had invested an incredible amount of commitment & emotional energy into that Look and it was actually quite shattering to realize that I was not going to be able to pull it off.

Now breathe easy friends, our story does have a happy ending. Mom in her infinite wisdom gave me the space & grace to calm down and a few weeks later we found The Dress – and let me tell you it was spectacular. Simple. Sleek. Sophisticated. Adorned with beautiful jewelry & fancy shoes... and very in line with my own personal style. Coincidence? I’ll let you decide.

Now please don’t misunderstand, I am not preaching that Pinterest is evil. That is not the intent of this post. On the contrary, I begin each project with a Pinspiration Session, but we have to remember to honor our authentic selves and the gifts we have. Leaning on social media and magazines as a source of inspiration for our overall vision is perfect but trying to mimic those images in their entirety can be destructive. So as someone who has been Down the Aisle please allow me to extend a few words of advice and questions to consider so that you don’t find yourself in an emotional heap in a bridal boutique.

• When you do pin that picture to your board, are you actually attracted to the dress itself or is it the beautiful image that has you in rapture? Models are stunning & photography is brilliant. This is called Marketing and it is incredibly powerful, be sure to know the difference.

• Your Look will encompass many features. Hair, makeup, nails, veil, jewelry, accessories, shoes, floral and of course the dress. Remember when you were planning your décor and all items had to flow together – your Look works the same way so think of the dress as part of the whole.

• Be careful when it comes to dress alterations. Yes. Absolutely. A seamstress is a wizard but even their incredible ability has limits and at some point – yes they can make it work but are you starting to compromise the structure and natural flow of the garment… if you are asking this, then yes, you probably are.

And my favorite and the words I will sign off on. Choose a dress that showcases your best features. We all have our gifts and it is far better to lean into them then try and pull off something we’re not. Not sure what they are? Ask your honey. Guaranteed this is one of the reasons they are excited to marry you.